O.K. what forms of polyamory are popular here?

[thedragos (deleted)]

My first and only polyamory experience was an MFM relationship, though it could have been more if it had worked out. Sadly the honesty just wasn't there. Secrecy just can't exist in such a relationship. I knew this from the start and even talked to both honestly about it, before even considering joining them.

In all fairness I won't discuss the exact thing that broke us up, but the relationship ended up friendly but touchy for all of us. And they stayed together working on that touchy problem.

I do miss them both, even after all these years.

So... what kind of polyamory relationships are you in to if any?

[beaulakin]

`I'm married. And my wife and I realized we both felt attractions to others so we allow each other to go out and have fun whenever we meet that special someone. We currently both have a friend on the side. We have one night each week we allow each other to spend the night outside our home. It's been working well for 3 years now.

[thedragos (deleted)]

`Well well well, after almost four months a first reply.

That might be considered free style polyamory (also called open ended). I'm assuming that either relationships are not lasting relationships. Have any of the others known of your relationship with you and your wife? If not, has that not presented problems, even if it is a temporary relationship?

I'm asking because of the honesty issue. Maybe I'm a little to stuck on that but I still feel it's an important issue.

[dannyandtrin (deleted)]

`my story I similar to hes but we are trying to find a girl for me and her. we don't think were ready for anything more. we been looking for about a year now. we did date someone but not much came of it. im just wondering who thinks a triad can work if your open enough.

[thedragos (deleted)]

dannyandtrin wrote: `my story I similar to hes but we are trying to find a girl for me and her. we don't think were ready for anything more. we been looking for about a year now. we did date someone but not much came of it. im just wondering who thinks a triad can work if your open enough.



Well... lol ...this is a polyamory group. But I suspect any response if any will be slow.

I wish you both luck on your search.

[waterratfish (deleted)]

My relationship life prior to 2010 was comprised of three long term monogamous relationships, (each of which failed on the weight of internal expectations), interspersed with some terrifically unsatisfying single periods.

I thrive on intimacy and affection; and have no jealousy issues; I love being with people who take a joy in the freedom of being alive and the ecstasy of ------- experience. Monogamy was never a good fit for me.

In 2010 I decided that I would give polyamory a try, and experimented with trying to establish a circle of lovers. I lived with my principal lover in her house and contributing to costs. three nights a week I lived with another lover. During that period I had four other "---- buddy" type relationships, more casual, overnight or weekend repeat flings, one of whom was a married woman.
The married woman wanted to keep our affair a secret from her husband, who was overseas at the time and had been for months. My principal lover and I initially insisted on openness. We wanted the husband to have the chance to accept and embrace the situation upon his return, and to enter our circle.
A disaster. the husband was instead outraged and spent the next year berating his wife who ended up coming to me in pieces and begging me to give her love and support without enflaming the situation by further revelations to the husband.
I conducted a secret affair, my principal lover was disgusted and we split.

The married woman then left her marriage at the start of this year and became my new principal lover, quite openly. Our relationship is known within our circle of friends to be open, and I have managed to rekindle relations with my former principal, who I now stay with once or twice a week. We are the best of friends and have recently started sharng physical love again.

Until recently I had one other long term but occasional polyamorous lover, but she has recently cut ties to focus on a new monogamous relationship.

My belief is that truth is paramount. Start fudging the truth, and keeping secrets, and the whole foundation of polyamorous relationships collapses. You can manage jealousies, neediness, greed, envy- with open discussion. Love loves best to play in the light!

Love the love that loves to love

[aphroditemaria]

`Hi I was introduced to poly amory by a poyamorist who was married, but I met the wife before I met her. Se is Tv. TS (m to f). Many things and distance has separated us but we still keep in touch. I am sure he/she and her still keep contact. I have no idea. I am now in the process of seeking other people to establsh solid friendships leadng to long term relationships.

[reluctant (deleted)]

`I would love to chat and get input.

Straight woman, recently out of long-term, monogamous marriage.

Have fallen madly in love with bisexual man who greatly desires us to be in a polyamorous relationship.

This isn't my choice, but I will explore to please him.

What do I need to know? How do I move from reluctant to welcoming?